This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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