marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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