Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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