ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
