i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
