theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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