Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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