I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
