Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
