my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
