i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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