Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
