I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
