i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
