so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize