youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
