i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
