I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
