I wanna passion pit in your ass
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
