hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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