physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
