Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
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I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
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I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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