He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
