he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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