Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
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This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
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all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Drunk is not a location!