I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?