life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
do herpes really smell.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS