No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.