Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
