I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
