he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
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