so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
