Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
