The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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