my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
this just has baby written all over it
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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