The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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