I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
