shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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