Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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