At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize