the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
