We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
