Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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