i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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