just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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