I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
her vagine was all disorganized.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
