Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Randomize
