definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
