went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
foreskin is a definite game changer
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
