It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
