I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I need to sanitize my soul.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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