i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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