butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
