one two three fourrrrnication!
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
