thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
someone owes me an orgasm
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
