Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
