i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I wish life had little blips of pornography
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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