I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
