why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
