apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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