I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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