you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
