Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I will pee on everything he values.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
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