ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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